Frustration Is Endless >.>

alright recently whenever i have been playing tennis i have been playing.. poorly in my eyes and it has lead to some very bad frustration within me and in one event i threw down janet [racquet] and ending up braking off the cap >.> luckly i glued it back on and it fixed but gah being frustrated sucks but playing bad is way worse for me. the only thing that i thought that could help was to study my tennis on the computer. and well thats what i did, i looked on youtube, and these websites and looked at videos and all this stuff that could help me improve and all that i can do now is wait and see if it will help me on the next time that i play. lets hope that i improve  because right now i am in a slump that is not working out. i play on perfecting my grips on both swings, slicing with a better form. rotating body more. and just trying to perfect my entire aspect of the game including moving my feet and getting into the correct spot. lets hope with the determination that i have in my heart that i can get out of this slump, stop being frustrated with my self and with janet and just make it work with severe practice and with hard work. frustration isnt helping the issue but i am hoping that practice, studying, and hard work will

Time For Change In Self

     Its a new dawn its a new day its a new life.. and im starting to feel good. Its a new year and i think it is time for me to change something about me, apart of me is dealing with people. People say that the people that you hang out with sometimes dictate how you act. Its time for me to cut a few people off who are changing me, not making me to the best of my abilitites. I need to change how i act, i need to change how i react to certain situations. I dont know how i am going to change but its time for me to find a way to do this. I feel as though i am not the person that i want to be today. i want to go and find a change in myself and in others this year. I find each year as an opportunity to improve. The previous year of 2011 did not turn out how i exactly expected. There is nothing that you can do about the past, but you can do is try to improve your future. All i can say that i am going to do differently this year is, calm myself.. calm my thoughts, smile a bit more, go back to how i used to be, and learn to let go of the past. Some friends said that i turned into a better person this year, some say that i changed for the worse, i origionally thought that i changed for the better.. but the truth is i have realized that i was wrong. I changed and i shouldnt of. Life knocks you down and i chose not to get back up and fight for what i believed in. But this year i wont make the mistake, I will stand up, i will appreciate those around me, and i will make a difference in myself and others. That is my new years resolution.

Pushing Away

who knows what i am going to do now. cant go back, cant go forward. in the middle zone of no return. must find a way to create the perfect setting for me to go to. i want to never return, its hard to say goodbye to those who you love, to those you dispise. its hard to never see one again. its something that i must do. for the better of me. i must get my mind away from the disturbing matter of these people who cause my heart ache. diliver me to a new place, a better place, i want to stay away. never to return again. see you in a years when all is well. when the past is behind us all. as time goes by all is forgotten for it is ancient in our history. the future is the place in which is seek, away to get to the better place. to save the pain of us all, to save the pain of my own, i wish to leave so i cant be hurt anymore. seeing a face of theirs is like a dagger in my heart. the smiles on their faces is unbearable while mine is stail of sadness. never forgiving is not the way i want to live my life. but i can not go back on what has begun. time is of the escence and i have to go before i never get the chance again.

Blunt

-The one thing in life that i hope i can achieve to be one day because i admire it about people in the world. My grandfather is a very blunt person, he will tell you what it is and that is it. My father will tell you how it is and he wont make it sweeter then what it really is. Being blunt is sometimes frowned apon by the common soceity today because they feel as  though that if you are blunt that you are being a "rude" person. But in all fact of the matter, its not being mean its being truthful about the subject, we people dont want to give you the kiddy truth. Learn how to handle the truth how it is. IF i say that i dont like you, i dont. If you ask me a question, i will answer it and i honestly dont give a crap if its not the thing that you wanted to hear. My grandfather is blunt, just like my uncle, just like my father, and hopefully to be just like me, and it is my hope that i can be the truthful and honest man that he is today.
     You can tell the facts however you please, but in my eyes there is no better way to tell the truth by telling the hard straight truth to someone and give it to them straight. Dont be sweet about the subject because that only makes the subject worse in the long run because you are babying that person and not making them strong enough in the long run.